"Blessed
are the rich
Blessed are the happy...
Blessed are the aggressive and power hungry...
Blessed are those who get away with doing wrong
Blessed are the guilty and the troublemakers
Blessed are the those who are apathetic, who stand for nothing
Blessed are you when you get back at someone, and spread gossip
"
(Compare w/Matthew 5: 3-12)
"And
when you pray, do so dramatically in front of crowds of people,
or on television, and you will be richly rewarded by men who will
think you holy, and will send you money for your antics. Even
the poor will give up their meager wages
"
(Compare w/Matthew 6: 5-8)
"Hoard
your treasure on earth, for people will think you deserving of
God's love
"
(Compare w/Matthew 6: 19-21)
"By serving
money, you serve God. Material success is the badge of honor in
spiritual matters. So it is right to worry about your reputation,
about what you eat and drink, and the way you dress. Seek first
your own satisfaction, and the world will be at peace. And when
you judge others, make sure you are conscious of your own image
"
(Compare w/Matthew 6: 25 - 7: 2)
"Welcome
false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing. By their fruit
you shall know them. They shall assault your emotions with guilt
so that you will not think for yourself, and will feel unworthy
for the gifts that God has given to you. Support them with your
hard-earned money. And remember, everyone who says to me, "Lord,
Lord," shall enter the kingdom of heaven; so speak
as much religious jargon as you can, and don't worry about your
heart
"
(Compare w/Matthew 7: 15-23)
"It is
the successful and socially accepted people that I have come for;
I have no interest in the rest, and neither should you. Separate
yourselves from them, and associate only with the hypocrites who
pretend to be righteous. Learn what this means: 'I desire image,
not purity, pretension, not authenticity, class distinction, not
brotherhood;' I come to call those who cannot possibly respond
to me, for they have already justified their sins in their own
minds, and have no taste for being forgiven
"
(Compare w/Matthew 9: 12, 13)
"I am
sending you out like wolves among the sheep. Be shrewd as snakes
and take whatever you can get
"
(Compare w/Matthew 10: 16)
"If you
want to be perfect, go, build up your possessions, forget the
poor. I tell you the truth, only the rich and successful and power-hungry
will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, so be like them. Again, I tell
you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle
than for a sincere and simple believer to enter the Kingdom of
God."
(Compare w/Matthew 19: 21-26)
"Whoever
wants to be great among you should seek to be rich and powerful,
and discriminate against those who cannot be used
"
(Compare w/Matthew 20: 26)
"Blessed
are the rich
Blessed are the satisfied
Blessed are the partygoers
Blessed are you when men love you and include you and compliment
you, and accept your name as honorable because of the Son of Man
But woe to you who are poor
Woe to you who are hungry
Woe to you who weep and mourn
Woe to you when men speak ill of you
But I tell you, hate your enemies, do evil to those who hate you,
plot against those who curse you, condemn those who mistreat you.
If someone strikes you on the one cheek, stab him with a knife
If you love those who hate you, you go against a long and honorable
tradition of war and vengeance. If you lend to those who can't
pay you back, that doesn't make good economic sense
Be critical,
just as your father is critical
Judge harshly, and others
will be afraid to judge you. Condemn vehemently, and you will
be above others' condemnations. Take from others, and you will
have more than you had before. Only the sightless can lead the
blind into this pit that leads nowhere
"
(Compare w/Luke 6: 20-39)
"If anyone
would come after me, he must be happy with himself and all his
faults, accept himself for what he is, throw away responsibility
toward others and do what he wants
What good is it for a
man to gain personal selfhood, and not be financially well-off?"
(Compare w/Luke 9: 23-25)
"For
everyone who exalts himself will be honored, and he who humbles
himself is not opportunistic enough to deserve cheap social praise
"
(Compare w/Luke 18: 14)
"Keep
the children away from me, for they are tainted with original
sin. I tell you the truth, you must be clever and indirect and
insincere to enter the Kingdom of God
"
(Compare w/Luke 18: 16-17)
"My house
will be a television set, that speaks of greed
"
(Compare w/Luke 19: 46)